Tuesday, June 1, 2010

memorial day

I will remember this memorial day forever I think. Matt and I ran a 5k up here in PC in honor of his oldest brother Ricky Who passed away from Cancer. We had a banner made and 5 of Rick's 8 kids were able to come. It was really nice running beside my husband. I love him. There was this one part of the coarse that was all uphill and Matt and I were starting to really feel it. We werent talking and we were just focusing in getting up the last uphill stretch when this giant, very tan, with long flowing locks and almost completely naked man comes gracefully and speedily bounding past us. We looked at him and then at eachother and just lost any bit of composer we might have had and just laughed til we almost cryed. I love my husband and I love moments like that with him.
Later we went to the park and spent a nice evening with my inlaws. Again we laughed and laughed and then Matt went to be with some of his friends and I went over to see my parents. A good friend of ours that I have known my whole life was over with two of my brothers. He told us he has cancer. He has started chemo but didn't tell anybody because he doesnt like being the bearer of bad news. I drove home in tears and by bedtime had a splitting headache.
This cancer stuff is changing me. When my friend told me of his cancer the words that softly came into my head were "And the same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there" I hope and pray that my friend beats the cancer. I pray everyday that my dad will get a few more years of this life to enjoy. But the reality still is that everyone who is born will die. And this life is certainly not all there is. This reality is becoming more and more imbedded in my heart at the thought of loosing ones I love. I am begining to feel deep within my bones that this life really is just a part of what there will be and my job for right now is to be strong and give as much love as I can give. If I do loose the ones I love. It won't be forever.


sara2delta said...

jason's dad's cancer just came back. i. hate. freaking. cancer. i look up to you for how strong you are and how gracefully you face the challenges in this life, diz. xoxo.

Olivia said...

Deb! I love you and want you to know that my testimony is strengthened because I know you! This life we are all living is beautiful but it certainly is not all there is. I'm grateful for that and grateful we can all enjoy these friendships we have for so much longer than just now!

Jenn said...

wholy emotions-- thought"awe how great is that." then laughed about the tan guy, then cried about cancer.